He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
