Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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