Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
