Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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