Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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