as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
