I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
