haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
