Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
