and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
