At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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