Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize