I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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