walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize