Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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