You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
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She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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