i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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