would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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