taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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