You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize