She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I skipped work to stalk him.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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