Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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