weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They have beer where we have blood.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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