i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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