Just cropdusted the office
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
