I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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