Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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