By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
