And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
