This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize