Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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