Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
