New low: just hacked my moms facebook
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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