You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize