my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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