I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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