sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we should paint friendship bongs
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
