I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
