have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
