you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
