Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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