You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
