3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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