Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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