now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
