You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
