i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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