so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
