We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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