Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
