So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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