I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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