I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize