You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
