Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
