Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Congratulations! We have a period
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