I can't breathe out the right side of my face
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize